Lauretta Wright was diagnosed with breast cancer within a week of launching her new business. She shares her story of how Cancer has changed her outlook, what she’s learned since being diagnosed and how having a positive mindset in the face of adversity can go a long way.
Your life prior to your diagnosis.
I’d left full time employment in August 2018 with a view to pursuing blogging as a full time career as things were taking off. Then in the November of that year, one of the mum's at the school who’d become a friend (Nicky) approached me to see if I wanted to team up to launch a new magazine for the Orpington area. It was a difficult choice for me to make as I had set my goals and purpose with the blog, but I’ve always believed in giving things a go (only regret the things we don’t do rather than the things we do), so I decided to put the blog on the back burner and throw all my efforts into growing the magazine 'Life In Orpington'.
First, I think I need to go back to mentioning a dear friend of mine called Tracey. I met Tracey about ten years ago when my son first started primary school, her son and mine became firm friends and so did Tracey and I. One day her husband stopped me in the playground to pass on a message from Tracey, she had developed breast Cancer and wanted a select few people to know. Tracey battled her way through her treatment and I always remember her making me promise that if I ever found a lump in my breast to get it checked out immediately. Sadly Tracey lost her battle with Cancer four years ago last summer. It was the day after my birthday and I felt like she’d hung on so that my birthday wasn’t tinged with sadness. That’s the sort of person she was.
When I discovered the lump by accident in February last year, I remembered Tracey’s words and booked a doctors appointment the very next day.
Check Up
After being referred to the hospital, I had convinced myself it was a cyst, so didn’t tell anyone that I was going for a check up. The breast care nurse examined me and sent me for a mammogram. After the mammogram, I was told I’d need an ultrasound. And then when they told me they wanted to perform 3 biopsies on me, I knew that something wasn’t right. The wait for the result was agony (and felt like a lifetime), but a week later I was given the news that I had stage 3 breast cancer. It was exactly the same as my friend Tracey's and it was the most aggressive form, growing very rapidly.
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| My Cancer Journey Lauretta |
When you were first diagnosed, what information became available to assist you?
I remember my response being very matter of fact when they told me: “Oh Ok” I said, but it was only when I was led into the room next door and the breast cancer nurse asked: “What about the children?” that I crumbled. She had found my achille's heel. The hospital themselves were great, giving me leaflet after leaflet and making themselves available to answer all questions. I remember two people who really stood out for me - one worked in the blood department and was offering words of advice just after I found out - words I needed to hear at the time. And the other was a nurse in the radiography department who help my hand and told me that I would see my children grow up. It made me cry but they were words I needed to hear - and it meant that I could focus on my recovery rather than worrying about my future.How have you managed emotionally and physically?
For the first two weeks I walked round in a state of shock and I must have looked like a zombie. What made it worse was that I couldn’t tell the kids because I needed to have scans to see if the Cancer had metastasized. Again, the wait was agony, I had Cancer but how bad was it? And had it spread around my body? Once I knew and could tell the kids I felt like a weight had been lifted. I didn’t have to hide my emotions or worry about them overhearing me talking about it.
Where do people access this information, did you receive support from many Cancer Charities.
MacMillan Cancer Trust have also been amazing, they’re not just there for people with Cancer, they are there for the whole family too including friends, because it affects everyone not just the person having to deal with it. One leaflet I was given was The Primrose Centre, a Breast Cancer charity based near Princess Royal University Hospital in Kent, I didn’t contact them for a while but when I did, I found them really helpful. Even to this day I regularly visit and they’ve been fully supportive.
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| Working whilst having treatment |
What type of Cancer did you have and how did it affect your day to day life? And your family life?
I had stage 3 Oestrogen positive breast cancer - there are so many types though! But mine was fuelled by Oestrogen in my body. The procedure for me would be a lumpectomy, followed by six months and chemo and then a month of radiotherapy. After two weeks my fighting spirit kicked in and I decided I needed to fight the good fight. Never understood what people meant when they said that, so I interpreted this in my own way.
In terms of my day to day life, I tend to cope with things when I have a purpose and a focus so I threw myself into my work. I always remember one friend saying to me “cancer is just an inconvenience for you isn’t it?” - and she was completely right.
I decided to take control of my diagnosis and I involved the kids so that they knew and understood every stage of my treatment. My daughter and I got our hair cut and donated it to the Little Princess Trust. Then when my hair started to fall out I got my daughter to shave it off. For me doing this, meant that I was in control rather than waiting for the Cancer to take my hair.
Family were of course amazing, my brother, son and husband all had their hair shaved in solidarity which was really humbling. If anything, it has brought us much closer together.
Any words of advice or recommendations for other women, who are going through this
Yes!
Ask as many questions as you can. If you don’t understand, just ask. Ask about consistency of care, especially having the same oncologist every time. This isn’t standard procedure so so ask.
If medication isn’t working for you, ask what else is available you want to know ALL the options. Ask if there are any clinical trials, there are always trials going on.
Ask if taking any medication will prevent you from taking part in any trials (which is what happened to me).
Were there any foods, relaxation techniques that helped to support your immunity and well being.
I attended a course called Look Better, Feel Better which is available to all breast cancer patients and where wonderful volunteers like yourself, give up their free time to help women like me. So I remember you teaching me how to draw on my eyebrows when they’d disappear. When you go through Chemotherapy your skin is much more sensitive, so you have to be careful of the products you use on it.
I learned all about SLS and Parabens and I banned them from all my skincare. One of my favourite brands is Tropic but I also love Jennifer Young products.
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| My Children |
Health
In terms of health foods, I poured over the internet collecting information about what I should be eating. In my case I steer clear of red meat and have heavily reduced my meat intake, I rarely eat or drink dairy products and I’ve upped the Green tea and foods that are known as Aromatase inhibitors.
I changed my whole lifestyle, from the things I put in my body and on my body, to the cleaning products I use around the house and how I now give my body, mind and spirit, the chance to reflect and rest.
This is so important and I can’t stress this enough.
Before I got Cancer I never gave myself a break, I’d sleep for four or five hours a night, work continuously and always felt stressed. Now I go to bed earlier and I wake up an hour earlier than everyone else to give myself that precious ‘me time’. It involves meditation and mindfulness, affirmations, visualization, exercise, writing and reading and it has been a wonderfully refreshing wake up call.
I only wish I’d started the self love years ago.
Now I also always make sure that I do things I enjoy doing, having a bath, baking, seeing friends for coffee, having games night with the kids, and I schedule these like an important meeting, so they can’t be cancelled.
What kept you going during your treatment?
We launched the first issue of Life In Orpington magazine in March 2019 and it was a few days after our debut issue was published that I found out I had breast cancer. It would have been very easy for me to just give up, but I had found something that I could become passionate about and I wasn’t about to give it all up just because a few cells in my body had turned bad.
So carry on I did, I worked the whole time, I mean every single day. I would even work while I was having chemo. In the whole course of my treatment I was only ever unable to work for 3 days when the Chemo drugs left me too weak and I had to go to bed. That’s not bad out of a ten month treatment!
The magazine is printed monthly and we distribute them in and around Orpington, people can pick them up for free at libraries, train stations, supermarkets, shopping areas etc.. you can even subscribe to receive a digital issue or there’s a postal option too.
Life in Orpington Magazine
We wanted to launch a magazine to reflect how Orpington had changed - to make it vibrant, exciting and a bit edgy. People seem to love it - it’s got a great design thanks to my business partner Nicky, and with my background in journalism which spans over 20 years, it’s got some great content too - everything from life hacks and parenting, to technology articles, Orpington history and travel. We also cover a lot of local community news and have a ‘What’s on’ section too.
Going forward Goals for 2020
I’m now on Adjuvant treatment which means that for at least five years, and potentially the next ten years I take medication to prevent the Cancer returning.
When I get to the 5 year ‘all clear’ then I’ve as much chance of getting breast cancer as the next person, so that’s the goal of course.
Sadly, because the Cancer spread to my lymph nodes, I had them removed under my armpit, but it means that I have developed a lifelong condition called Lymphedema. But I’ve always tried to seek the silver lining in bad situations, so my next short term goal is learning how to manage that going forward.
My short term goals include improving my fitness and offering as much support, help and guidance as I can to others going through treatment or about to start. I regularly do Instagram stories under my blog name and it’s been lovely to see just how many people I’ve helped on their Cancer journey. I feel that in some way I’ve found my purpose in life, if I can just help educate one person, then I’ve done enough.
My learning lessons are many, I know it sounds crazy but I think, in some ways, it’s been a blessing getting Cancer. It has really opened my eyes to what’s important in life and what matters most. My Family and health are the most important things. The reassurance and positive support, that I’ve got from friends has been overwhelming sometimes,even from complete strangers on social media who’ve got in touch to tell me how I’ve helped them.
Whats Next?
I’m a lot kinder to myself and I’m a lot kinder to others; I have more resilience, more empathy and I tend to look at things in a new light. I take pleasure from the little things in life. Every morning I write a gratitude list and every night I write down what was wonderful about the day, even if it was a really bad day. It works wonders just realizing how very lucky I really am. In every bad situation you’ve got to remember that there’s always someone worse off than you and to always look for the silver lining because it’s there if you look hard enough!
My last message to everyone:
"Please check yourself regularly, men as well as women.
If you haven’t done so in a long while, go and do it today please. If you do find anything, please do what my friend Tracey asked me to do, make an appointment the very next day and get it seen to.
If it is anything, the earlier they catch it, the better the outcome."
Lauretta Wright this is my Journey
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